In honor of our latest read I will be summarizing our discussions with...
13 Reasons Why... We Did Not Like This Book.
Okay, that is just a little too harsh. I think overall most agreed it was a very good discussion book and a topic that should be addressed, along with being a well-written, interesting book. But it was definitely a downer... and unlike most of our recent downers, one some of us had trouble finding common ground with.
So lets just stick with 13 discussion topics.
1 - Was any of the tape recipient's role more important than any other? Overall we felt like all of the negative things that happened to Hannah built upon each other. Some of them were more serious than others, but they were all significant in her downfall. It also seems like any one of the people involved could have, with different actions on their part, done a lot to help Hannah out of her downward spiral.
2 - Are the tapes more powerful than a suicide note? We had an interesting discussion on the power of hearing someone speak beyond the grave. Even in more positive notes, like a video left after the passing of a grandparent, it is an extremely powerful way to get a message across. We also talked about how most high school age students have had little to no experience with death. To not only hear about the death of a fellow student but to then hear her voice again as she describes your past actions would be very powerful.
3 - Where were Hannah's parents through all of this? Almost everyone noticed at some point that she doesn't really talk about her parents. But someone brought up that Hannah is talking about all of these events after they happened and concentrating on sending a message to the 12 recipients more than giving a full account of everything going on in her life. Her parents involvement, whether it was absent or negative, did not seem important to Hannah.
4 - What do we think about Mr. Porter (the counselor)? Again someone (why can't I remember who said what at book club last night?) brought up that near the beginning of the book, they made it clear that Mr. Porter was not a trained counselor but just an English teacher filling in for the time being. While it was obvious that he missed some very major signs that should have been followed up, I think we felt more sympathy for the man than anything. It was clear that Hannah was just looking for the final excuse to do something she was planning on doing anyway. Now to have that one moment come back to him in those tapes and receive what she considers one of the main reasons she decided to end her life would be an incredibly hard thing to deal with.
5 - What did we think about the main character (Clay?) Linda and other agreed that we were glad the main character did not have a significantly negative role in Hannah's life. It was much easier to listen to his thoughts and narration than it would have been to listen to someone who had been cruel to Hannah. We were also very glad that at the end of the book, he did not take his experience for granted but instead reached out to someone sharing some of the same signs of depression that Hannah had shown.
6 - Were Hannah's experiences unusual? Whether it was ourselves or through the people around us, most of us felt Hannah's experiences were pretty typical of high school. There were some experiences that were definitely more extreme during the end after she had, in essence, given up, but the rumors, teasing, cruel behavior from jealous peers, etc. were not unique experiences. One thing we spoke at length about is how things affect different people. While some people will hear something and will instantly find offense or dwell over it, others will let it go right over their heads and not think about it again. Many people who go through similar experiences can still find happiness and joy in life. Especially with the support and knowledge of the gospel, we all felt like many can overcome those situations and still be able to recognize the blessings in their lives. But those more prone to depression or those who are easily offended can be very affected by those kind of situations, as Hannah obviously was.
7 - Which then led to our next discussion, how do we treat people? It is true that little things can make big differences in other's lives, but many of us felt that, though we would not intentionally offend, a sane person cannot spend their day wondering how every word they say affected every person they spoke to. Especially when words were not shared with malicious intent, it can be exhausting to worry about every spoken word.
8 - Why we had trouble relating to the book? As a group of grown women very much out of high school (thank goodness!) we have gotten past the time of life when everything was about "me". It was difficult for some to get back in that mindset to relate to Hannah's experiences.
9 - Someone mentioned the pioneers and said "theirs was the physical challenge, ours is the mental and emotional", or something to that effect. We spoke briefly about times in history when people went through truly terrible ordeals that make high school look like heaven when people wouldn't have even considered taking their own life. The two things we thought contributed to our more modern views on suicide are 1) a lack of faith in God, and a decrease of the belief that those who committed suicide went to hell 2) a lack of work or other laborious tasks, instead lots and lots of easy free time.
10 - After reading an article about the author, he mentioned that some critics thought the book would glorify suicide. But instead, most of his fan mail was from teenagers who found that in the end of the book, after reading all of the things that happened in Hannah's life, they still wanted her to be alive. They found reasons for her to live that she didn't see. And they also saw that even though she got her message across to all of those people, how sad it is that she doesn't get to experience any of the change in these people's lives because she is gone.
11 - This book seems to be best suited for adults with teenagers so they can be aware of signs and they can be more willing to discuss and talk to their children about things going on in their life. It is also a good book for teens, if nothing else for them to get a glimpse into how their behavior and actions could be affecting others.
12 - We also got to look into the life of Mickey, who was not only a beautiful woman but who also shared those fantastic genes with her family and has a beautiful progeny! Happy birthday!
13 - Fantastic hostesses, Linda and Michelle and fantastic treats.
Thanks everyone for participating! Isn't book club the best?!!!
Next month... Sarah Plain and Tall and its sequal Skylark. Plus come prepared to discuss your favorite childrens book. Bring a copy if you can!
